St Patrick's Day Guidelines
by Varmint
Summary: Leprechauns? Kidnapped WWE Superstars? A cat in a dress and a penguin threatening you with coal in your stockings? Why, that's just a normal day for our gang of Young Superheroes. This time they have gotten themselves in trouble in Ireland, what with too much green and too much beer consumption. Delve in if you want a hint of insanity today. DISCONTINUED!
1. Chapter 1

**First of all, a minute of silence for the recently departed Wallace West, the Prince of Speed, and the Awesomest Speedster that ever lived... ... ...**

**Now that that happened, I am mad about the last Young Justice episode, but we have to move on. The one muse that kept me inspired may be gone, but he shall never be forgotten. Sides, he's most probably coming back one way or another.**

**And, because I love Wallace so much, this is a St. Patrick's Day Guidelines story, revolving mostly around him, Sheamus, and Leprechauns.**

**Enjoy~**

**Rule #1: **No flying to Ireland. Did you not learn anything from Christmas?

(No, we have not, Batsy. Have you?)

**Rule #2:** Do not pinch anyone who's not wearing green. We do not care about traditions.

(Well too bad, _Stupid _League. We do!)

**Rule #3:** No, not all gingers are Irish. Stop trying to make Roy and Wally believe that.

(Hey, I am _a-quarter__-of-a-quarter_ Irish! You got it? Which means that, yes, all gingers have Irish roots!)

**Rule #4:** No kidnapping any wrestlers on your trip to Ireland. We do not need anymore law-suits.

(What? It's fun to take Sheamus, Zack, John Cena, Randy Orton, and Daniel Bryan on the trip of their lives. 'Sides, they need the down-time.

**Rule #5:** You're teens. No drinking. Just because Sheamus and Jason can throw back pints, it doesn't mean you have to, too.

(One hundred mugs of Beer on the wall, one hundred mugs of Beer!)

**Rule #6:** No trying to find Leprechauns.

(Yes, yes finding Leprechauns. I want me pot o' gold!)

**Rule #7: **If you find a Leprechaun, do not chase it if it doesn't give you its gold.

(I found it fair and square! I followed the rules for catching a Leprechaun, and I'll be damned if I don't get what is rightfully mine!)

**Rule #8:** Stop trying to find Banshees. Was it not enough to take a Leprechaun hostage?

(No, it was not enough to take a Leprechaun hostage. We need to prove the super-natural is real!)

**Rule #9:** If you are in Ireland, do not kidnap One Direction in their tour. We do not care if one of them is Irish.

(We have to save the world from their music! 'Sides, Niall's Irish.)

**Rule #10:** How many times have we told you the same? No tattoos!

(Now I have a bit too much ink on my body for my age.)

**Rule #11:** No going overboard with the clover leafs.

(It's too easy.)

**Rule #12:** While in Ireland, do not do anything that will end up with you and your kidnapped wrestlers in jail.

(We had no idea the Irish mafia still existed. How were we supposed to know that Sheamus had ties to them?

**Rule #13:** No Alcohol means no drinking contests.

(Oh well... Why do you keep making these lists when you know we're just going to break the rules?)

**Rule #14:** No... *sigh*... Please, we're begging you here, if you do anything on this list, at least do it with a secret identity. Don't do it as super heroes or you're alter-egos. Please.

(Well... Now that you put it that way...)

**Rule #15:** No sabotaging the people you have kidnapped. And no blackmailing.

(Daniel threatened with calling the cops on us. We had to take drastic measures.)

**Rule #16:** Please, don't kidnap Gunther and Gazpacho the Cat after you've kidnapped Zack Ryder. We're already on bad terms with Santa Claus.

(Eh, we like them, they like us. Why can't we take them to Irish-Land with us?)

**Rule #17**: No prancing around the streets of Ireland half naked.

(That was Robin. All Robin.)

**Rule #18:** No trying to find the Fairy Queen. Please.

(She was a real beauty.)

**Rule #19:** Do not try to dance or speak like someone from Ireland. Especially if in Ireland.

(I have a very good accent for that, and, I dance like a real Sheamus, may I say.)

**Rule #20:** Please, if you don't listen to anything on this list, at least listen to this. Do not insult Ireland and Irish culture on this day of all days. Please.

(Well oops, man.)

**Two reviews and I shall post the next chapter tomorrow.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Rule #1: **No flying to Ireland. Did you not learn anything from Christmas?

**Rule #2:** Do not pinch anyone who's not wearing green. We do not care about traditions.

**Rule #3:** No, not all gingers are Irish. Stop trying to make Roy and Wally believe that.

**Rule #4:** No kidnapping any wrestlers on your trip to Ireland. We do not need anymore law-suits.

**and**

**Rule #5:** You're teens. No drinking. Just because Sheamus and Jason can throw back pints, it doesn't mean you have to, too.

It was supposed to be a good St. Patrick's Day for Young Justice and the Justice League. This was one of the holidays were the villains and the heroes had a truce, no stealing or super heroing for the day, and everybody liked it like that. But, like always, Waly had other plans that didn't include a calm day.

"Quick! He's not wearing any green, get him!" Said ginger yelled, pointing at Batman, who walked into the room wearing a tuxedo and sunglasses.

"Stand down, Kid Flash." He growled, glaring at the speedster that was slowly creeping closer.

Wally deflated at this, slowly falling to the floor, pouting, "You're no fun, Bats. Too much and little play will kill ya." He mumbled, his jaw jutting out.

Batman smirked down at him, and said, "Good thing I don't play then."

Wally blinked as Batman walked away, quickly got up, then pointed after the man. "Did _the_ Batman just say something remotely funny?"

Robin only rolled his eyes at his best friend's antics, and said, "Come on, Walls. Raquel told me that she and Sheamus decided this would be good day for the Team to meet the rest of Sheamus' friends."

Wally blinked in surprise as he was dragged out of the room, and asked, "When did they decide this?"

Robin shrugged, and said, "About a week or two ago. But if you didn't hear, you were most probably up in space like you always are now-a-days."

Wally chuckled in embarassment, then said, "Where are we going to meet them?"

They walked into the Zeta, then arrived in an alley-way in Pittsburgh. "Pittsburgh, Wally. Where the Wrestlers did RAW yesterday."

Wally nodded distractedly, then turned around as he heard someone calling him. On the other side of the alley stood the whole team wearing their civilian clothing, all of them wearing bright smiles.

"Finally! Come on, you guys!" Raquel called to them, turning to Zatanna.

"Yeah, let's go! I want to get my drink on!" The younger girl finished for Raquel, making Robin chuckle and shake his head.

"Okay, let's go. Come on, Walls." And with that, the whole group set off to find the adults that were now the role models in their lives.

* * *

"Can't this ship go any faster?" Wally asked in an impatient tone, tapping his foot rapidly on the floor as Sheamus glared at him from the floor.

"Wally, we've already gone over this many times," M'gann started, rolling her eyes as Randy Orton glared at her. "I don't want to risk losing her."

When they had kidnapped the wrestlers, they had gagged and bound each of them, then thrown them inside the bio-ship as they tried to make a quick get-a-way. Daniel Bryan was sitting with his legs and hands wrapped together and his mouth duct taped shut while in front of Kaldur and Raquel, while John Cena was in a very same predicament, but in between Conner and Artemis, and Zack Ryder was sleeping on top of Wolf, deciding he might as well make the best of this.

"Mou mall mill mremret miz!" Daniel tried to growl, but it was really hard to take him seriously because he looked so darn cute while glaring at all of the teens.

"Aww!" Zatanna cooed, getting up from her chair and crouching in front of him, cuddling his face. "He's so cute when he's angry! Can we please keep Goat Face?" She pleaded, using her puppy dog eyes on Jason, who was standing at the back of the ship.

He eyed her up and down, then Daniel, who was glaring at Zatanna with the passion of a thousand burning suns, and shrugged. "As long as he's potty trained!"

Daniel made a noise of indignation, but Robin interrupted. "Hey! Roy, Wally, and Jason, you guys like drinking, right?" He asked, looking at all of the boys.

They all nodded, not sure of what the bird was up to. "And you're all gingers like Sheamus, right?" He asked, making Jason roll his eyes.

"Not ginger anymore, kid." He said, pointing at his black hair and the white stripe in it.

Robin rolled his eyes, and said, "Who cares? Anyways, I have been thinking, and I'm pretty sure that you're all a bit Irish!"

Everyone in the ship blinked at him, including the wrestlers they had kidnapped, while he only smiled proudly.

_'This is _the _Robin?'_ Randy Orton asked himself, still new to the dynamics of this group.

"Whatever, Robin. Anyways, we're over Irish land right now. If you look to your right, you'll see valleys and valleys of green. If you look to your right, you'll see the same exact thing." M'gann announced, making all the kids gasp and run towards the windows.

Somehow Sheamus managed to take his duct tape off, and asked, "Have ye kids ne'er seen Ireland?" He asked, but wasn't surprised when the kids didn't answer.

They were all so amazed by the sight before them that they didn't even notice when it changed and was replaced by building and streets, already prepared for St. Patrick's Day.

"Not really, no." Jason answered for them, taking a swig of his beer.

"Really, fella, ye drink that fer fun or somethin'?" Sheamus asked, really curious about Jason's afixiation with beer.

"Eh, it's a good way to ignore this stupidity." He said, motioning towards the teens who were now talking animatedly about what they were going to do in Ireland.

"Okay, we shall divide into groups!" Kaldur announced over the chatter of his team, getting their attention. "Wally and Raquel will take Sheamu and do whatever you want. Conner, you, M'gann, and Wolf will take Zack and do whatever you want also. Artemis, you, Roy, and myself will be going to the parades with Mr. Cena. Zatanna, you and Robin will take Daniel with you." Then he looked at Jason and Randy, who was still glaring at everyone.

"Jason, can you handle Mr. Orton?" He asked, making the older shrug while nodding.

"Course I can, Fish Sticks. If I couldn't, I wouldn't even be here."

Kaldur nodded at his statement, then waited as M'gann parked them on the roof of an abandoned building, "We shall meet back here by eight, and please, do not get yourselves arrested today."

And with that, he took Artemis by the hand, helped Roy grab Zack, and left. Wally giggled excitedly as he jumped out of his seat and took off Sheamus' binds, then yelped when the man thumped him on the back of the head.

"Ye didn't have to kidnap me, fella." He muttered as they walked out of the ship, Raquel following. "Ah would've gone willingly."

Wally moved his head from side to side because of this, and said, "Yeah, but would've the others? Anyways, let's go out and party!" He said, shifting into an Irish accent. "First pints on me!"

**Sorry about not updating sooner, but please, do review. I really hope you liked this.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Rule #6:** No trying to find Leprechauns.

**Rule #7: **If you find a Leprechaun, do not chase it if it doesn't give you its gold.

**Rule #8:** Stop trying to find Banshees. Was it not enough to take a Leprechaun hostage?

**Rule #9:** If you are in Ireland, do not kidnap One Direction in their tour. We do not care if one of them is Irish.

**and**

**Rule #10:** How many times have we told you the same? No tattoos!

The first thing Wally, Raquel, and Sheamus did was head to nearest pub, which, really, wasn't that hard to find, seeing how as they walked by a man was flung through the window and ran back inside, only to throw another man out.

"Ah, home." Sheamus smiled widely, making Wally and Raquel smile too.

"Let's go inside, I've got meself this sweet ID." Wally started, taking out his wallet, while Sheamus put his hand up to stop him.

"Fella, do ye not know who I am? Ye don't need an ID wit' me." And as he said that, they just went through the doors and inside, the first round of drinks on Wally.

Maybe this wasn't the best idea, seeing how a speedster metabolism makes the alcohol course through his body even faster than a normal person's, which means that it would affect him even faster.

"What would we do with a drunken sailor? What would we do with a drunken sailor? Oh, what what would we do with a drunken sailor early in the mornin'?!" Wally and a few older Irishmen sang at the top of their lungs while swinging their beers from side to side.

Sheamus and Raquel only looked on at this in shock and somewhat disgust, not sure why the boy was already acting like this, their drinks in their hands.

"Is this normal for the lad?" Sheamus asked her, now trying his best to watch the football game on the television in the pub.

"Normal for Wally? I'd expect it to be. For anyone else? Well... You already know that answer to that.

A few minutes after they finished that song, Wally seemed to get even drunker and found his way to a group of young men, who were now all in tears while singing, "So kiss me, I'm shitfaced! I'm soaked, I'm soiled and brown in the trousers, she kissed me! And I only bought her one round!"

Most of the men were sobbing as Wally sang the rest of the song, which made both of his companions believe that they had recently experienced some kind of heartbreak.

"What is wrong with him? Do his songs get worse the drunker he gets?" Raquel asked, worried at the words that came out of Wally's mouth.

"Could be, lass."

And just a minutes later, he was singing, "Of fiddly-diddly-catch-me-diddly-I'm a leprechaun!" which made his friends just facepalm.

"I've only had one beer, and Wally? Oh, you know, he's had... About ten." Raquel said into her wrist communicator, where Robin was seeing Wally dancing around like a drunk.

"Rocky! I found a leprechaun!" Wally slurred from the other side of the pub, hugging a short man that just happened to be wearing green. "Give me my gold, 'Chaun! I caught you so you have to give gold!"

Sheamus face palmed at this, shaking his head as he tried to hide his face, not ready to see what other stupid things Wally could do now.

"I have to leave now, Robin. Wally is most probably going to jail because of assault and maybe sexual harassment."

* * *

"Wait, Raquel! Don't-" Robin yelled, only to see a blank screen.

He sighed and shook his head, ashamed of his best friend's actions, then turned around, to find Zatanna and Daniel enjoying the sights of the highly colorful people walking down the streets.

"This is nice." Daniel admitted, not bothered by Zatanna laying her head down on his shoulder.

It had been a while since he had a break, seeing how his job made him travel all around the world, so he really wasn't pissed off anymore after Zatanna and Robin gave him some food to eat.

"Yeah, it is." Zatanna admitted, sighing in happiness as she remembered the feeling of doing the exact same thing with her father.

Robin smiled at them both, then looked back to the castle he was observing before he called Raquel, just enjoying the sight. Then, suddenly he saw a gray type of figure, which was there one second, and gone the next. He jumped in surprise, and before either Daniel or Zatanna could say anything, he was screaming,

"Get up! Get up! We're going on a hunt!" And with that he took off running, not bothering to check with his companions.

"Is this normal?" Daniel asked, getting up then helping Zatanna up.

They both started walking, all the while she smiled up at him. "With this team? Anything could be considered normal, from going shopping for clothing to going shopping for exotic animals and tazers. Also balloons. And waste. Especially with Wally and Robin."

* * *

"Run, bro, run!" Zack yelled as he carried a body over his shoulder, Wolf carrying two and Conner one.

They were running away from a mob of angry Directioners, who were screaming and cursing, which only added to the reason the group of four wanted to run.

"Why are we kidnapping One Direction?" Conner grunted as he dodged a rabid fan that tried to jump him, which ended with her on the floor, her knee hurting.

_"I believe because Zack insists to save the world in his own way."_ M'gann answered, flying in stealth mode beside Conner.

The boy rolled his eyes and continued running, a bit pissed at the fact that he never got a day off. If it wasn't Wally, it was Robin. If it wasn't Robin, it was Roy. If it wasn't any of those three, it was either Deadpool, Jason, or Wally's Rogues. Yes, even the _Rogues_ from _Central City_ were making his life a hell. Then again, this hell was better than a different one.

"I'm saving the world, bro. Eliminating one boy band at a time!"

* * *

And while this happened in the city of Dublin, Jason and Randy were walking down a dark and damp alley in some random part of Ireland, none of them sure of where they were.

"It's your fault we're lost." Randy told him, staring straight ahead as Jason glared at him.

"Oh really? How is it my fault?"

Randy looked at him while smirking, and said, "Well, you _were_ the one to decide to go down that one alley with the weird guy in it, and now, about fifteen minutes later, we have no idea where we are." Then, to add salt to the wound, he added, "Besides, you're the one that kidnapped me and took me against my will."

Jason rolled his eyes at the smug Viper, then found his cigarette flying out of his mouth as a strong gust blew.

"Hey, Jason, Randy! What are you doing down here?" Wally asked, seemingly more sober than before.

Jason growled at him, angry at the fallen cigarette, while Randy answered, "You're friend, the idiot over here, decided to listen to a strange old man and now we're lost."

Then he suddenly sniffed the air, and found himself smelling booze. The stench of the city and drugs, that he had smelled before, but that strong scent of a drink only Irish made him look at Wally.

"Have you been drinking?" He asked, a bit shocked at the fact that Sheamus allowed Wally to drink, but wasn't answered as the boy turned to Jason once more.

"Hey, Jaybird, guess what? I found this sweet tattoo parlor as I ran away from some angry leprechauns; don't ask; and I was wondering if you wanted to help me get an homage to the Team?"

Jason shrugged as he lit another cigarette, already over the first one, and asked, "What happened to the ID I gave you?"

Randy was shocked at the fact Jason was giving someone under aged a free pass to booze and all kinds of trouble, but Wally answered before he could scold either boy.

"Lost it when I was running from the leprechauns? You coming?" He asked, smiling widely at his best friend.

Jason took a drag from his cigarette, looked at his mucky surroundings and shrugged once more. "Sure. Let's get going, Snake Boy."

**Please review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, well I feel rather stupid for having to write this but I just have to.**

**Because school started for me this week, I've had some free time in the morning, snack, and my lunch. During these periods of time, I've been able to look over my unfinished stories, just to just how I can continue them. Just yesterday I read this story's three chapters, and I noticed something.**

**Seeing how I wrote this when I still wasn't very mature(I know it's only been a few months, but even the most immature person can grow) I wasn't very aware of how racist it was. And I know that some people like it, but I can't even continue writing it because I don't _like_ it anymore.**

**I will be deleting it and the sequel to Guidelines to Living With Young Justice will be posted in a week or two. Okay?**


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